Funny Lines

Here's some funny lines I just scooped up from my Facebook feed:

Do not follow for I may not lead. Do not lead for I may not follow. Just go sit down somewhere, will you?"

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

I want to die quietly in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

Remember boys, women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man says after that is simply the beginning of a whole new argument.

Just struck me funny when I read them. Maybe they'll do the same for you.